Why it Takes More Than Financial Smarts to be a Family Office CFO

Part One: You need a lot of EQ

Think you’ve got what it takes to be a CFO in a family office? Well, you’d better be a strategist, fixer, peacekeeper, and amateur therapist all rolled into one.

Because unlike corporates, where shareholder value is the north star and reporting lines are clear, family offices operate on trust, legacy, and priorities that can shift with generations – if not between siblings.

Decisions aren’t always rational, emotions run high, and the CFO is often the person holding it all together.

Broader, deeper, and far more personal

Luke Moon has spent more than two decades working inside family offices, managing everything from business acquisitions to personal asset purchases.

“You’ve got to climb up and down the flagpole constantly,” he says of the role, meaning you need to be able to manage up to the family as well as down into the operating businesses.

This requires “a lot of EQ,” he adds, with a knowing chuckle. “A lot of EQ.”

He explains that the emotional charge comes from the fact that most entrepreneurs treat their business like another child, and because family decisions can often be driven by sentiment more than strategy. For example, the goal might not always be to maximise returns, but rather to honour a personal connection, support a relative, or invest in a legacy project.

For CFOs used to hard metrics and rational markets, that can be jarring. But as Moon points out: “You’re a custodian of the family’s wealth, not the decision-maker. You give the best advice you can, but if they want to invest in something because it feels right to them, you do it.”

Sometimes that means finding ways to tactfully mitigate the potential financial – and family – fallout.

“I’ve seen things go through that made no financial sense, but the family wanted them,” Moon says. “So then it’s up to us to try to limit the downside by suggesting a figure that feels significant to them, but won’t actually put too much capital at risk.”

Building trust while balancing the books

Tamzin Weller, a fractional CFO who works with multiple clients including a fourth-generation family business, believes building trust through easy wins is key to a successful long-term relationship.

“Start small, gain credibility, and then you can nudge the conversation forward,” she advises.

Her role, which started as a financial fixer, now includes business partnering and family meeting facilitation.

“You realise very quickly this isn’t just about cashflow,” she says. “It’s about helping a family work better together.”

That can mean raising uncomfortable truths others would prefer to avoid – especially when performance issues involve family members.

“Sometimes the business is struggling, but they don’t want to confront things because they don’t want to upset the apple cart,” she explains. “In that case, you have to be incredibly diplomatic and persistent.”

In fact, navigating hard truths has become one of the defining features of her role.

“Six months after addressing an issue, I’m still having the same conversation with one family member,” she says. “But that’s the difference between being a CFO and being family – my job is to keep things accountable.”

According to Pedro Chauca, who has been CFO of a private family office for 11 years, that kind of relational work is possible in part because you’re working with the same people over long periods. The continuity allows you to build a deep understanding of how they operate.

“The people don’t change every few years like they do in corporates, so you really get to know how each person communicates – their style, their priorities,” Chauca says.

However, that longevity also adds complexity. Because rather than operating with a single, consistent goal like shareholder value, family offices are often shaped by legacy, lifestyle, and preservation – priorities that can shift between generations, or even siblings. That’s why Chauca is a big advocate for having a set of clearly defined values.

“I think values are a cornerstone in any organisation – and in family offices, they’re critical,” he says. “With the family I work with, it wasn’t black and white in the beginning. But when the new generation stepped in, they formalised four guiding values that every decision goes through: is it correct? Is it respectful? Is it pragmatic? And is it the right thing to do?”

Strong values such as this act as a compass, but Chauca warns that they can also lead to trouble.

“If the CFO’s personal values don’t align with the family values, it’s going to make for an up-the-hill climb,” he says. “In my experience, the values of the family are what drive the operations and the day-to-day. So that’s something that needs to be understood from the beginning – even at the point of the first interview.”

He adds that every family has its own specific set of guiding values, even if they haven’t formally defined them and aren’t consciously aware of them. In that case, to ensure there isn’t a mismatch, “You have to observe, ask the right questions, and figure out what really matters to them.”

So, what makes a great family office CFO?

Everyone I interviewed agreed on one thing: this job isn’t for the rigid or thin-skinned.

“You need to be far more adaptable than in a general accounting role,” Moon says. “Because you never know what’s going to come across your desk. One day you might be buying a business, the next you’re buying a plane, then a property, then furniture for that property.”

Weller agrees. “You’re not just managing money,” she says. “You’re managing people, legacy, and a hundred little unspoken expectations.”

For CFOs considering a move into the family office world, the appeal is clear: breadth, variety, strategic challenges, and an opportunity to build long-term trust and influence. But the skillset is different, the stakes are often personal, and it can be unpredictable.

Or, as Moon puts it: “There’s no rulebook. Every family office is different. You just have to figure it out as you go.”

Part Two in this series now online > Structure, Strategy, & Staying Power – What Family Office CFOs Must Master Next – Click here to read